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LET'S TALK ABOUT IT  / Let's Talk Archive / Carenotes

Let's Talk

I never stop learning from my loved one


Question/Topic for March 2014

What have you learned while caring for your loved one ?


Shared by: Shirlene Davis

Life is very precious and fight to stay positive.

Shared by: R. Turner

Something I never thought I would have enough of is patience but when my husband was diagnosed with dementia, I found I had more than enough. However, I must admit that when he became incontinent that was a hard pill to swallow. As each day goes by it becomes a little less stressful. What I find it difficult to do is to change sheets and bed pads everyday. My husband and I have been married for 49 years and I would never have seen this as our future. His up and down moods still bothers me but I will look at a funny movie or show and forget it temporarily. He can be very congenial sometimes and cursing me the next. He puts things where they don't belong. (example: putting food in the cabinet or urinating in the sink)

Shared by: Grace

My Mother was In a nursing home and I was desperate to bring her home but was not sure if I could take care of her. The staff and professionals there all said that she needed 24/7 care and would be nearly impossible for me to care for her at home by myself. But still in my heart I knew I had to bring her home and did research, talked to the staff, had some training (transfers, changing adult undergarments, etc.) and brought her home. Although it has been challenging, I feel so blessed that I am able to take care of my Mother and be together in "our home".

Shared by: Karen

I have found that God gives more strength when the burdens are greater. I can handle more than I ever thought possible. Its okay to admit that your not Super Woman/Caregiver. To let other family members help when I need help, realizing that they want to be part of caring for their loved one too. Also, knowing that other family members may not do things like you do but, it IS okay. Trying not to feel guilty when I go and do something for myself (this is a continual process).

Shared by: Carla
Sun City, AZ

For almost 5 years now, been taking care of my Dad. Initially, it was he and his wife. She passed away in 2010.

It has been a very humbling experience, and now we have Hospice involved. It's hard to watch him fade away. I know, although this has been very difficult, I will miss him greatly. He was a GREAT Dad to us, even though we were not his. So I felt I owed him a debt, and this was my way of repaying his love and kindness. He was in WWII, and is very funny to listen to when he talks about his experiences there. He does not feel he's a hero, even though he is.

Shared by: Dorothy J. Oczkowski

I found with the help of God I was more capable of being a caregiver than I ever could have imagined since nursing is at the bottom of my list of career choices. When you are caring for someone you love who appreciates you, the job is a lot easier. I also tried to keep a normal life by working and going to school to keep up my morale and my sanity. I did not feel guilty asking for help when I needed it even though I was an only child and knew I had full responsibility for my father's welfare.

Shared by: Nina Brown-Lane
Long Island, NY

I've learned PATIENCE from my Mother in this journey through Dementia.

I've learned to laugh at the things she says that only make sense to her.

I've learned how to live "moment to moment" as is the way things are her world. In other words, one moment she's angry when she's washed, clothed, and changed and the next moment she's thanking the CNA for everything she's done in the last 10 minutes.

I've learned that it's OK to talk about it to others. It helps me and it MAY help someone else somehow.

I've learned to love the time we have together by making the most of it.

Shared by: Mel

True love is forever!

Shared by: Patricia C. Vener

1. A sense of humor and a smile are essential for everyone...
    The former is nature, the latter is nurture.

2. A good nap makes for a better day.

Shared by: M Potter
Branford, CT

I've learned that is takes a lot of patience and sacrifice.

I've learned that although they can be demanding, it's only because they trust and love you and know you will always be there, even at their worst.

I also learned that the ones you care for need to feel needed and actually WANT to help, even if they sometimes act like they are not capable. Push them. You'll be surprised when they rise to the occasion no matter how hard.

And finally, I learned that it's ok to say no and it's ok to ask for help from friends, family, and to trust in our heavenly Father for "power beyond what is normal".


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