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LET'S TALK ABOUT IT  / Let's Talk Archive / Carenotes

Let's Talk

Welcome to Let's Talk About It.  In this special section we will feature the question/topic of the month and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to participate, just follow the link provided at the end of the question/topic and add your comments and thoughts.

Question/Topic for Jan/Feb 2013

Has your loved one recently moved into a facility?
Are you considering this kind of move?
What are your challenges or concerns related to the move?

Shared by: Eileen Griesgraber
St. Paul MN

I have been a caregiver for a family member who is still their own guardian who has a brian injury and dementia. I took care of all the Dr. appointments, meds , day program and all day to day activities and after 4 long years I had them move into a corporate foster care home and was surprised at the lack of knowledge, supervision and by the staff, and lack activities and communication between staff and myself. It difficult for my brother to adjust to lack of structure at the home and therefor there were behavior issues. I did not realize how little control I would have once he moved into the corporate group home system there was not good communication and lots fo problems and his health and behavior got worse. I would relly advise anyone panning to make a move get everything in writing before moving a loved one and get recomendatins form other camilies that have experiece wiath group homes.

Shared on: 02/25/2013

As a caregiver, how can you care for a child who is living with tb or kwashiorkor

Shared by: Marihelen Pitts-Campbell
Brookings, OR

Moving my mom-in-law, who was in her 90's & had some dementia, was very bad for her. For the last 30+ years we had planned to care for her in our home, when it was needed. All the things mentioned in the question & the comments did not cover the SEVERITY that 'the move' could have on our loved ones' well-being. Mom was disoriented after she moved to an assisted living facility for a short time until my husband & I could get our home ready for her with her own suite, grab bars, wider doorways, etc., as it was unsafe for her to live alone, anymore. Each week for a few months after visiting with her at the facility, we brought her to our home to see how her new rooms were progressing. She seemed to understand our conversations about the remodeling which was going on, until she actually moved in & unpacked. Even after these weeks of preparation with her, everyday ...all day, she would ask when she was going back to her house. Her friends came to visit; her rooms & the placement of HER own furniture were as close to her previous house as possible. She died two years later STILL wondering where she was. By the last six months with Hospice (wonderful!) Mom did not recognize her only son. She felt loved by us, but not at home ! It was impossible for us to live with her in her small trailer, but she possibly would have been better off if we could have moved in with her. My concern is: if it is at all possible, the family should move IN with their loved one to have the least impact of changes in the surroundings on him/her. This gift to our loved ones does mean some sacrifice for us, but this view should be considered & included in the evaluation of 'the move'. Thank you. Gratefully, Marihelen

Shared by: Gail

My husband of nearly 40 years just entered a skilled nursing facility. He is 66 years old and suffers from the effects of MS. I have taken care of him for over 25 years most times with little or no help. I realized several years ago I could no longer keep up the pace. My emotional and physical well being was at risk. It was a two year process to find a suitable facility and then wait for an available bed. The guilt I felt and still feel overwhelms me. But, I had the full support of every single family member. It was time. The care my husband now receives is impeccable. Every effort has been made to keep him as comfortable as possible with all the latest equipment. He has made a remarkable adjustment. I am devoted to his care and always will be. I will need to sell our home as our finances have been depleted. I am incredibly lonely and unsure of the future. But, I am grateful he is secure and safe.


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