I understand the value of Three Little Words
when talking with my loved one:
I love you.
We family caregivers are prone to take ourselves out of the
all-important Circle of Care:
We make sure that our loved ones get the respite they need, but never
give ourselves a break .
We make sure that our loved ones have all the medical attention they
need, but forgo our own basic checkups.
We make sure that our loved ones get the nutrition they need, but
only eat meals that are ordered through a clown’s mouth from a fast food
Saying I Love You has been a part of our families life. For me I end every call to my mom with I Love You. It would upset my mom now if we did not especially since she has had a stroke and has dementia. When my mother lost my father she was devastated. They were married 55 years we are a very close family and I will make sure my mother knows she is loved not just by words but by actions also. A simple hug and a kiss go along way
Let the parent know what you are doing. Avoid I am going out in ten minutes. Set the stage for resciprosity and calm with each other.
My mom has advanced Alzheimer's and has lost most of her verbal skills and ability to communicate using words. She has maybe 10 to 15 sentences and maybe 25-30 words that she still uses. I tell her everyday "I Love You" with lots of hugs and kisses. Each and everytime she smiles and laughs and more often than not responds with "I know" Never under estimate the power of these words. It is tremendous. Love truly trancends most communication barriers.