FROM THE EDITOR'S PEN /
The Key Question /
I always save the driving questions for the last
25 minutes of the Q&A session at our Fearless
Caregiver Conferences because once that Pandoraís
Box is opened, no other topic gets any airtime.
I know that none of you have any challenges getting
a loved one to stop driving when they are becoming a
danger to themselves and others, but please indulge
me the following.
We have heard some really ingenious methods that
caregivers employ when faced with the driving issue;
Donít make your decision solely on age-based
concerns. A driverís age is not reason enough to
revoke their license.
Find out what the laws in your state allow in these
instances; sometimes you can make an anonymous call
and the driverís bureau will call your loved one in
Enlist your loved oneís doctor or the local police
department. This news is always better coming from
Give them a set of non-working car keys and always
offer to drive.
Once agreement is made about driving, put a large
note in the windshield reminding your loved one that
they agreed not to drive.
Sell their car; although people in more than one
city have reported that their loved one simply
bought a new one.
If you talk with your loved one with other family
members in the room, rehearse what is to be said.
It is much better when everyone is on the same page.
Remember to put yourself in your loved oneís shoes
when the time comes to take away the keys. His or
her driverís license was a key to independence they
received in their youth. We must recognize their
fear that taking away this key feels like the
beginning of the end to them. How would you
Many times, people know when they can longer drive;
they are just looking for a way to keep their
dignity when they give up their license.
If you are thinking it is time to finally have that
talk with your loved one, do it as soon as possible.
You probably should have had it six months ago.
Remember, it could be worse. One caregiver told us
she was relieved that her 92-year-old father just
had his license revoked by the state Ė his pilot's
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