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As any astute longtime reader of this column
knows, there are certain times of the year when we
like to share our favorite appropriate stories with
you. You might call them our seasonal chestnuts. One
of these times is during Christmas, when we roll out
our version of “The Night Before Christmas” aptly
renamed “A
Caregiver's Christmas.”
Another is on this very day, when we like to recount
the story of our Valentine’s Day lovebirds – Mike
and Mindy…
Mike and Mindy
They heard about the session in the news that
very morning. Let’s call them Mike and Mindy. I was
in their town to host an information and resource
panel and had a short interview on one of the local
television stations, which prompted their
attendance. The idea of the panel was to enable
caregivers to ask questions of their local experts
and receive immediate attention. My role was to
moderate and (hopefully) motivate.
At first, Mike and Mindy didn’t ask any
questions. It seemed as if it took all their
available energy not to burst into tears. Finally,
their story emerged. They had been primary
caregivers for Mindy’s mom, who lived with them for
over 18 years before she passed away last fall. Now,
his dad needed care. The rest of the story was
familiar enough—no local family except for a brother
living 30 miles away who might as well have been
living on another planet. The question they finally
asked that day was delivered in a low but plaintive
tone. “How can we get away, if even for a while?”
To me, the answers were simple enough. Their
community was at no loss for respite opportunities.
But as I listened while they were given credible
options for temporary relief, I realized something.
These folks were too drained and too lost to be able
to even hear the answers given. They were like the
person who needed to gain muscle strength before
being able to perform a strenuous physical task, but
were too weak and depressed to even start the
exercise needed to develop the muscles to begin the
task in the first place.
