I would like to
introduce you to Gertrude (Gert to her friends) and Harry.
Two very nice people who have found themselves spending a
lot of time together -- going to movies, visiting museums,
hitting the early bird specials and just sharing leisure
time activities. Although they enjoy each other’s company,
neither one would consider their relationship to be anything
more than a friendship. This fact is especially important,
seeing that Gert and Harry are each married to other people
with whom they have shared their entire adult lives and
continue to love and cherish. Allow me to acquaint you with
their spouses:
GERT AND SAM:
Gert met Sam at the end
of WWII; they fell in love, settled down and raised a
family. Two boys and a girl. Just after their fiftieth
anniversary, Sam developed Alzheimer’s disease and for the
past five years has been living in a long term care
facility, close to their family home. Sam has long since
stopped recognizing Gert on her daily visits to the
facility, but somehow they still spend their time together
sitting and holding hands like they did when they were
courting. Gert feels blessed that she is able to visit with
Sam, but has felt lost and alone for a very long time now.
HARRY AND MARTHA:
For the first five
years of their relationship, Harry and Martha loved to
travel, visiting far away and exotic locales like Morocco,
Egypt and Thailand. They filled their home with the
artifacts of their travels and loved to regale their four
children with the stories of these distant lands. Once the
kids became old enough to travel, they resumed these trips
to faraway places, with the kids in tow, instilling in them
their shared thirst for adventure. Those days are long gone
for Harry, as he has been tending to Martha’s needs since
she developed Alzheimer’s disease and several years ago
moved into the same facility where Sam also resides.
The long term care
facility, of course, is where Gert and Harry met.
Unfortunately, Gert’s daughter strongly disapproves of her
mother’s friendship with Harry, and wants them to stop
spending time together. This saddens Gert, but she is
afraid of her daughter’s disapproval; she fears that if she
keeps her friendship with Harry, her daughter might not be
there when she may need support in the coming years.
I told Gert and Harry
that I would solicit advice from the very best caregiving
experts I know – you, our readers.
Thanks in advance for your support.
Gert and Harry
