These are just some of the many responses we received
from our Editorial of
07/11/07 - Playing Kvetch
I find that people call stroke
survivors stroke “victims” – and that is a wrong way
to think and talk about someone who has survived
such a devastating occurrence.
not a phrase, but I am bothered by the way people
who know my husband has Alzheimer's disease talk to
me and ask me questions that my husband can answer.
It reflects their lack of knowledge of the disease,
and their willingness to write off anyone who has
the diagnosis without exploring how limited a person
with Alzheimer's may be. I watch this all the time
and it really bugs me. My husband notices it and
says he feels like he's not even there in a
conversation. I try hard not to interrupt him or
answer for him. It takes a while but he can get
things out that he wants to say. We just need to be
patient. I try to educate all his doctors that
spending a little time letting him get words out
will get them the answers they need to help him with
his medical care. As with many other things in life,
we just need to slow down! Thanks for letting me
Wheelchair bound, He's (she's) a medi-lift.
diabetic, paraplegic, (we are people who happen to
feeder room (a room in nursing home where residents
are fed by staff)
She's a 2 person transfer (takes 2 people to get her
from the chair to the bed)
As a nursing home social worker
I am always Kvetching about phrases used by other
health care providers. Thanks for the article.
just be that I've been having a string of sleep
impaired days going back a few weeks now from a
However, the bit about "parenting your parents"
seems to me to be a pretty close to perfect
description on the process.
The main difference I find is that diapering a baby
requires a lot less physical strength that diapering
a 150 lb elderly person.
Also I am sure I am not alone in
taking care of a father who was psychologically
abusive the entire time he was parenting me and my
Later in life I came close to
physically throwing him out of his own house for the
way he treated my mother. I brought my concerns to
their Rabbi and to their doctor. The MD ignored me
telling me he couldn't discuss them with me by law,
and Rabbi assured me that my Mom had told him it was
not true (meaning it was easier for him to accept
her denial than to help her feel safe in expressing
the same things she expressed to me and I saw
Dad meant well and certainly was
always a good provider but he was and is often
totally inconsiderate of the feelings of people
Bottom line is at times my
"bothersome phrase" is "loved one". It makes big
assumptions about family relationships that don't
necessarily reflect the on the ground realities.
pretty sure this isn't what you were after, but my
mom just blew up at me and I'm kvetching a little...
"How can you treat me like this
when I'm DYING!" (About to throw a bottle of kefir
"Get out of my life!"
"You do nothing but take
advantage of my failing memory."
"Get out and don't come back!"
"Why are we paying [our
caregiver] so much money?"
And this is after six months of
rebuilding our relationship to the point that we
were getting along and expressing genuine
appreciation and love for each other. Another
reminder not to get too complacent...it can all blow
up in my face at any moment...and it does!
Thanks for your good work, Gary.
she, when Fred or Ethel are in the room.
Having my daughter told she is lucky to have such a
wonderful mom for the thousandth time when I am
lucky to have her (she is disabled)
Referring to people as “handicaps” like they are the
disability they live with. My daughter has
handicaps, she is not one herself.
“It is godswill.” Typed like that because it think
it is swill.
It makes me crazy when people come and lay hands on
someone as if they have a right/obligation to
intervene with their almighty on another’s behalf.
Pitiful looks are unhelpful. Laughs, smiles, winks
Didn’t realize I had this much to say about the
subject, but I need to run. Looking for a live-in
for my daughter