These are just some of the many responses we received
from our
Editorial of 08/17/06
-
Heroes Abound
Thank you so
much for your cumudgeoning letter. You are SOOOO
right about still being a caregiver even after your
loved one is in a long-term care facility. I wish
more family members would realize the joy that can
be experienced by themselves and by the one in the
long-term facility. Too many family members seem to
just let out a sigh of relief that their caregiving
is over and continually say, "I know I should go see
her/him but - - - - - - - - ." I see and hear it
when I'm on my bandwagon praising support groups and
even when I ask someone, "How's your father? or, "Do
you go often to visit your mother?"
It is so very
necessary to keep connected - making sure that
things are going as well as can be with them. Most
of all, the residents need smiles, touches and the
proof that someone is still concerned and cares for
them. AND, I'M CONTINUALLY TELLING THIS TO ANYONE
WHOM I THINK NEEDS TO HEAR!
Now, Gary, who
do you think is a cumudgeon? See, you are
certainly not alone! And, No, I am not a
professional - just the caring wife of a long-term
care facility resident.
E.M.
Gary: A comment on your
asking we not call caregivers heroes and saints. I
agree with you. My sister and I care for our
elderly Mom and Aunt both 89 . Mom has dementia and
my aunt is failing physically. We do it because we
love them and that it what family is all about - at
least to us. They were there for us when we were
young and needed them so now it is our turn to help
them. We are not heroes we are doing what is
right. We have been told by nurses, doctors and
help care professional that we are exceptions to the
rule. These professional have told us
unfortunately most families today don't even want to
try and care for ailing and elderly members it gets
in the way of their life. We should not be
exceptions we should be the norm. As long as both
wonderful ladies do not need medical care that we
cannot provide they will remain living with us and
we will care for them as long as they are alive.
Our country does not revere the elderly they just
toss them aside - what a disgrace. Hopefully future
generations will make changes to that. The elderly
have so very much to offer us and most people just
don't know it.
A.C.
AMEN! My parents had four
children but caregiving responsibilities fell to two
of us while the other two lauded us for our efforts
and constantly told us what wonderful people we were
- but rarely helped out even when we clearly spelled
out what we needed them to do. Now that our parents
are gone, unfortunately, guilt and remorse have
caused a rift in our formerly very loving and
close-knit family.
It takes so
little to become a hero or saint. Sitting with the
patient for a couple of hours so that the caregiver
can recharge is worth more than all the money in the
world. Plus the patent gets to see someone
different and hear about life from another
perspective. A pre-cooked meal, a funny story
shared, a ride to the doctor all are invaluable to
those whose interactions are limited to doctors and
same old "heroes".
Here's to the
advent of a new generation of heroes and
saints.
S.M.
