It’s the 24/7 of it all.  The responsibility for another human being, an adult who has a life and an identity that we are continually trying to support and preserve for as long as it shows itself.  It’s the home care attendants who don't show up and the ones who do but have no sense of how to support the preservation of a person’s dignity.  The negativity:  the wrinkle that can’t be removed from the nightdress, the wrong mittens, the shoes she has never seen before although she has been wearing them for years.  It’s wearing, tiring, draining. 

And what fills us back up again?  How much do we need to reclaim that energy, to reset our sanity? 

When I read of your request for respite tips, what comes to mind for me is:  find respite opportunities, track them down, hunt them, pray for them, do whatever you can think of to get them, and TAKE THEM!  They are critically important to one’s sanity and to living life with no regrets.  Later, after Mom is gone, I don’t want to look back on this time as a time when I set aside me, or my life, for the sake of Mom’s care.  I am no hero!

P. M.

I live in upstate New York and the winters can be long and confining.  As soon as the good weather arrives, I start to arrange lunch dates with a couple very special friends.  I use the respite time provided with my husband's long-term home care.  A few hours here and there make a world of difference.  It is such a blessing!

Judy

A 30-minute walk in the sunshine ... a nice hot soak in the tub ... a self-imposed 'time-out' with some relaxing piano music on my Ipod ... a quick trip to the library ... an early morning (or late at night) cup of tea ... a once a month lunch/brunch with friends ... even the luxury of a 'respite' weekend trip to the Jersey Shore. Whether it's 15 minutes or 15 hours, take the time you deserve to re-charge your batteries and maintain your health.

 J. R.