FROM THE EDITOR'S PEN /
Ask Gary Planes, Trains or Automobiles/
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Planes, Trains or Automobiles
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I’ve been thinking a lot
about this question posted in last week’s Carenote
section of our weekly newsletter. I don’t
usually respond to the messages in this manner since
the responses from our readers are so right on
target, as they are in this case. I just thought
that Richard’s situation covers so many of the
challenges we deal with as family caregivers, I
would (in keeping with the Presidents’ Day theme)
throw my two shiny Lincoln pennies into the mix.
I swear I will not tell a lie in my response (or is
that another President?).
My 92-year-old mother
recently broke her hip. She’s also been diagnosed
with third stage Alzheimer’s and atrial
fibrillation, a long-standing problem. She is
completely noncompliant when it comes to doctors,
meds, rehab, etc. As a result of her condition, I
have been granted guardianship of her person through
the court in Florida. She is at home now with a 24/7
aide, but the nurses and physicians she saw during
her rehabilitation feel that she would be much
better in an assisted living situation that also
deals with patients with dementia.
My plan is to move her to a
facility in my state that can cater to her medical
and neurological needs. When I mentioned my plans to
her, she went ballistic and said she would commit
suicide and/or kill me before I ever got her out the
door. She becomes abusive and extremely hostile at
the talk of her move and says that she is in
complete control of her life and that nobody is
going to tell her what to do. This has been her
modus operandi for years.
I know she’s not the first
person with Alzheimer’s to be hostile or to need
long-distance transportation. What is the best way
to do this and what professional help will I need to
get the job done?
Thanks for your time and
hope you can give me a little guidance here.