• We made sure that my father had maximum media input e.g. music, TV, computers etc. This reduced boredom and also ensured caring was more fun with someone who was in good spirits. 
• We found that daily supply of newspapers and magazines improved the way we kept in touch with life outside our house. My father uses these and so do we.
• Writing is very therapeutic and it is the easiest job to do as a carer. It is to be recommended for every person. Every story is an inspiration to others and it serves as a method of empowerment. I myself used it for the long periods I was unable to go out and it makes time pass, it ensures your imagination is intact and I created my own world to such an extent that I no longer need the “normality” of life to be happy. This is hard to imagine but for many caregivers they are unable to socialise, never able to meet members of the opposite sex for life partners and cannot even go to the movies.
• Animals are wonderful and serve as companions to those who are ill and disabled. Our dog has been with us for 19 years and is my father’s companion providing him with a source of happiness.
• Planning a daily routine is the key to avoiding the perils of depression. We cannot stress this enough. It is important to keep busy, positive and happy. It is all possible with some organisation.

In conclusion, we have managed to survive the dark years as we call them. Our world is unlike that of many people. It is common for us to be shunned by those who are ignorant of the physical problems regarding caring. In essence, the underlying determination of caring for a person is the love one has for them. Many people still say to me “why don’t you leave your parents and do normal things like all of us”. Only a selfish person would leave their elderly parents to fend for themselves in a society that makes the lives of carers more difficult that it should be.  Society to some extent has expectations of us as human beings. The “norm” is the source of many people’s anxieties; they perceive themselves unattractive or unacceptable resulting in depression and lack of motivation. I find that it is important to perceive life as the way YOU wish to live it according to your values. So many commodities are stated to be important e.g. weight, looks, money etc but are actually items that should not matter. To care for another person is the most selfless act one can do. Any individual who does this is special. There will be no accolades or prizes but there is a sense of humanity and the best reward is the health of the person you care for.  Those who do not understand will criticise. To be true to oneself as opposed to following the path that society leads us down is probably far more rewarding. Once you as a carer desert society’s perception of who you are supposed to be, you will find the happiness and contentment that often eludes others.

We have all experienced feelings of resentment, of unhappiness, desolation and rejection, but life can truly be anything one cares to make of it. The key to caring is to overcome these problems; from the stormy seas there will be calm because tomorrow is indeed another day which can be filled with the freedom of imagination from our mind’s eye