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A Caregiver’s Memories:
How to Deal with Moving On
By Patricia St. Clair
(Page 3 of 3)

So much has been written about the holiday season as it pertains to caregivers and those who have had recent losses in their families. In my opinion, a loss doesn’t need to be recent to be painful. I believed wholeheartedly that I had passed the point of emotional meltdown during the holidays, but today’s events made me face the fact that we may never move past the memories that are imbedded so deeply within us that cause our grief to take on new meaning at this time of year. Initially, I felt guilty for again letting the visual bonds between family members cause such a deep pain within my heart. However, I am beginning to realize that the depth of my pain is in proportion to the depth of the love I felt for my mother, and that love provided both of us with years of happiness. I believe that today was a breakthrough for me, and I wish that all caregivers who are facing a loss that could plunge them into an emotional abyss would take advantage of the “here and now” and let your loved one feel the emotional bond between you. Words don’t come easy to many, especially words dealing with emotions. No words need to be said when a hand is laid on a shoulder...when one hand reaches for another...or when one opens his/her arms to enfold a loved one in an embrace.

Copyright 2001 Patricia St.Clair is a freelance writer who writes about caregiving.

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