By Hilary Gibson, Staff Writer
One of the hardest things a
caregiver will ever have to do is to know when it’s time for their
loved one to go into a long-term care facility. Often, caregivers
will go long past the point of when they should have incorporated
help from the outside. Sometimes, it’s their own fear of failing as
a caregiver and the fear of letting someone down that stands between
themselves, their loved ones, and an improved quality of life for
both. Identifying some of the following may help make the decision
process a little easier, and define certain things a little more
clearly for you. A long-term care facility may be needed if: your
relative’s condition keeps getting worse and is becoming too much
for you to handle on your own; no matter how hard you try to give
care to your loved one, it’s just not enough; you feel as if you are
the only one around who is having to care for someone who is ill or
elderly; you’re not receiving any type of respite, and it doesn’t
look like anything can be arranged for you to get much-needed time
away or rest; relationships with other family members are breaking
down because of the time you must dedicate to caring for one person;
your caregiving responsibilities are beginning to greatly interfere
with your work and personal life; you have feelings of guilt when it
comes to taking care of yourself; your coping skills are beginning
to include self-destructive behavior, such as eating too much or too
little, increased drug use or alcohol use, or losing emotional
control too often; you rarely experience any moments of happiness,
but have too many real moments of exhaustion, anger, and resentment;
you hold your feelings in, never allowing them to be shared with a
friend or with a professional. As a caregiver, you may very well
have experienced many, if not all of these things from time-to-time,
or you may now be starting to experience these things constantly. In
order to conquer your fears of placing a loved one into a long-term
care facility, you need to understand more about some of the
facilities nearest to you.
As a caregiver, you may wonder how to go about finding
what’s available to your loved one in and around the area in which
they live, and how to decide upon what type of facility will be best
for them. A few people you may want to ask are: your family
physician; hospital discharge planners; social workers; home
healthcare nurses; friends and/or neighbors who have been through
similar experiences; your religious leader; geriatric screening
programs through a local hospital or community center; and finally,
government agencies such as the federal Area Agencies on Aging, or
local social services or family services groups. If there is a
professional familiar with your loved one’s condition, ask them
about what kind of facility would be best in matching and meeting
particular needs. These people may be able to help you base a
decision upon specific medical considerations and information, such
as conditions like Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, mental health and
awareness of the person, and their physical and mobility factors.
When deciding on a few places to check out, first call them and ask
if there is a waiting list for the facility, what the cost might be,
and what types of insurance or supplements, if any, are accepted.
The answers you receive from these phone calls should help you
narrow down your list of possible places. When you’ve selected a few
places, make sure you ask even more questions to help you better
assess the quality of each facility. Also, listen to your “gut”
feelings when you begin each tour, and it may be helpful to bring
along a friend or other family member in order to get some other
forms of input regarding each facility.
Some general questions to
ask each place can include:
Location - is the facility conveniently located
to where you live? Will it be easy for you to get to in order to
visit? Is public transportation available nearby?
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