By: Liza Berger, Staff Writer
Services in the community to consider include: meal
delivery, adult day care, in-home aides, transportation,
help with Medicare claims and telephone check-ins. A
long-term care facility, such as an assisted living
facility or nursing home, may also be an option. The
Administration on Aging’s Elderare Locator helps find
aging services in a particular community. To find out
more, call 800-677-1116, or visit www.eldercare.gov.
(More resources for long-distance caregivers are at the
end of the story.)
A geriatric care manager (GCM) may be just the person a
long-distance caregiver is looking for to help assess a
loved one’s needs and coordinate services. Often trained
as gerontologists, social workers or nurses, they can
suggest care options, provide referrals to local
resources and help guide you through the complex system
of long-term care.
A Team Effort
One of the most essential parts of caring for a parent
long-distance is to develop a core group of people you
can rely on to help care for your parent. That team
could include nearby siblings, other family members or
close friends; neighbors who know your relative well;
those people your loved one sees often, such as a
housekeeper; and care professionals. Make sure to keep a
list of names, telephone numbers and e-mail addresses
for all the people on your team.
It may be helpful to hold a conference with siblings and
others to discuss each person’s caregiving role. This
may be done face-to-face, on the phone or through
e-mails. Family conflicts often erupt when a parent
becomes sick. In such a situation, it may be helpful to
bring in a therapist or objective third-party to mediate
family conferences.
It’s also important to involve the loved one in the
decision-making process.
Documentation
Part of the information-gathering process is keeping a
family member’s important documents and medical
information at hand. This information includes a loved
one’s date of birth, Medicare and/or Medicaid number,
Social Security number and health insurance information.
(Consider copying and laminating these key documents and
keeping them in your Care Notebook.)
It’s important that caregivers tend to their own
physical and emotional health. Recognize what you can
and can’t do. Forgive yourself for not being perfect,
according to the “Long-Distance Caregiving” guide. Don’t
become isolated from your friends, families and
activities. Support groups may offer a way for
caregivers to share their feelings with others who are
in similar situations. If a caregiver is experiencing
signs of depression, sleeplessness or feelings of
helplessness, it may be a good idea to seek help,
experts say.
It takes a special person to be a caregiver. Those who
are doing it should recognize that they are doing a
valuable, loving and caring act—and for this they should
be proud.
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