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CARENOTES | Past Carenotes | Let's Talk


Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 4/14/15


My mother does not want to leave her apartment anymore.  Is there something I can do to help her or convince her to go out with us?
She is 91.


Shared by: LeeAnn

I do understand her feelings, I am not yet 81 and I prefer my home to most places. As we age we no longer relate to people, places, food as we once did. Home is comfortable and safe and if you tire you can take a nap. I feel pretty certain that Mom would appreciate quality time you could spend with her one on one at home. Perhaps doing little projects that make her life enriched. I am a full time caregiver so must go out most days and I feel that when things change I will change also. I wish you well I have walked in those shoes and know the frustrations.

Shared by: Patricia
USA 4/14/15

Before you can do any sort of convincing, you should find out why this sudden change. Is she afraid of fallng? Is she afraid her hygiene isn't what it should be? Has something happened or has she been watching the news? (That can be pretty scary!) Is she depressed for some reason? Or perhaps does she not enjoy doing the things she had been doing with you til now? Find out what is bothering her and then wirk in addressing that issue.

Shared by: Kathy
NH 4/14/15

Do you know why she doesn't want to go out? I've had the same issue lately with my mother and finally it kind of slipped out yesterday. She is embarrassed that she now needs to use the walker even in the bathroom and she finds it too embarrassing to maneuver the walker in small bathrooms. She feels everyone is watching her as she tries to move her walker through small doorways and around sinks, etc. She has Parkinson's and has difficulty coordinating her movements. She is now inclined to just stay home but does love rides in the country or just riding along with me as I do her errands. So I would try to find out if there is a reason why she doesn't want to go out that she might not be sharing with you. She might be too embarrassed to tell you why.


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