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CARENOTES | Past Carenotes | Let's Talk


Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote

We just moved our parents into Assisted Living. My Dad needs assistance with getting in out of bed and using the bathroom. He is a fall risk and has dementia. My Mom is very able-bodied however she has memory issues. We learned their brother-in-law is on hospice and will eventually pass away in Minnesota. My Mom wants to go to funeral but we feel the traveling is too hard on my Dad. What can we do so my Mom can attend the funeral? Thanks

Shared by Sue in Wisconsin

Shared by: Kathy

Hi Sue, I guess it would be depend on how Dad does when Mom is away. If he is easily redirectable the facility could put together a careplan that ensures he is comforted if he experiences distress when he notices she's not around. If there is a family member who can also provide this reassurance that is optimal. How advanced is his dementia? Did he value his relationship with the BIL? Would it enhance his life to experience the gathering around the funeral. If yes...that would be a blessing to him, of course. As he is in an Assisted Living facility, they should be able to take care of his needs while his wife is away, as long as they have the information they need to serve his emotional, psychological and physical needs.

Shared by: Dolly

Veronica, Traveling may be difficult for Dad but so would being left without his wife in a new environment. Go with Mom, help with Dad and try to make a family trip memory


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