CARENOTES | Past Carenotes
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This Week's Carenote - 2/4/14
I work as a caregiver for my 92-year-old great aunt.
How can I keep my cool when she snaps at me? I literally
take a cry break in the bathroom every couple days because
it's hard to handle sometimes. She forgets she was so harsh
to me after only 10 minutes, but I remember it for days. I
know I shouldn't take it personally, but it's even harder
being related to her. Do you have any advice?
Shared by: Alex
Hello, guys. This is my question and I
just wanted to say thanks for the replies! I laughed at both
the NCIS reference and the growl. Thanks for saying it is
healthy to cry, too. It is tough but it's nothing I can't
get passed, and I won't be ashamed to take a breather and
cry it out. God bless!
Shared by: MJ
If you have watched NCIS
I wanted to swat my Mom on the back of the head
like Gibs does to his staff. But I took a deep
breath, walked out of her room, and sat in the
lobby for a 5 minute cry. "Remember crying doesn't
get anything done except releases the stress we are
under." Another resident walked by and congratulated
me with all I do for my Mom and realizes it is hard
when they are in this stage of "never never land."
I was able to return to her room as if nothing had
occurred, but as you said it stays at the back of your
mind for a long time. When I relate incidents back to
my siblings I end up laughing over the different
scenarios I present to them so keep humor/laughter in
your life when dealing with your elder Alzheimer
Shared by: HT Daly
I had the same
experience and I would feel shocked and so
frustrated when my mother would snap at me.
While I allowed myself to feel the anger and
frustration ( I did a lot of snapping back
in my head) I also used a little
visualization technique to cope with the
outbursts. I imagined the words were a bad
cloud (or stink) and I would actually move
my head slightly and imagine the words
moving past me. I got out of their way.
Since we were also a dog
loving family, I used to growl at my mother
if she "snapped" at me. No matter how angry
she was or I was, my low growl would always
make us both laugh and even with dementia,
she recognized the joke. As I write this I
feel sad that I no longer have anyone to
Saying all that, I think
you are a very healthy person to just cry,
because any "pent up" emotion would be worse
for you in the long run.