I have a 25-year-old bipolar daughter and I need help.
These are my issues:
1. I am torn between working (which I need
to do to sustain us) and not leaving her at home alone.
2. I am
frequently subject to her rage attacks. I have had to call the
police on several occasions. She perceives that I think thoughts
about her that I do not. I am not trying to be critical when
talking to her; I am just trying to help her make better choices. Her
tendency is to have a rage attack when she is upset about the failure
(or perceived failure) with a boyfriend. She has never been able
to have a valid relationship with a man, but views this as a way to gain
It is significant that my daughter's rage
attacks are only directed at me as her primary caregiver, her older
sister (who does not spend as much time with her), and perhaps a
boyfriend—those she feels safe with. Outside of the home, she is like a
very unassertive, quiet, and has difficulty trusting people
enough to make friends. She spends a good deal of time on Facebook with
people she barely knows or has never met.
It is my belief that
the "mania" in my daughter's bipolar is expressed through these rage
attacks, not euphoria—
although I guess there is an initial euphoria in
beginning a relationship with a new man.
3. She says I am crazy
because I overreact to her poor choices with men and in other areas of
4. She processes any sort of negativity from others as
a rejection and goes into a state of depression and self-hatred.
5. She refuses to do what I ask of her—routine chores, being on
time—and I become angry, which only gives her an excuse not to do what I
ask and state that I am "crazy" and overreacting.
6. I have
tried all my life to help my daughter and wish to see her function in
society as an independent individual. I don't know whether she is unable
or unwilling to do this. I do not know to what extent my protective
attitude toward my daughter is enabling her failure to become
7. My daughter has been treated by psychiatrists and
counselors for at least the last ten years and does take medication for
her disorder. Both she and I are still having great difficulty.
Please try to connect me with others who are dealing with the same
illness so that I can better help my daughter.
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