Dr. Bob Arnot is an award-winning television correspondent, international traveler, and medical doctor active in international humanitarian issues. He has been a foreign correspondent as well as chief medical correspondent for NBC News (including Dateline, the Today Show and the NBC Nightly News), and a health correspondent for CBS News (including CBS Evening News, CBS This Morning and CBS Morning News).

Gary Barg: Your dad passed away after a massive heart attack. I was hoping you would talk a little bit about your role as a family caregiver.

Bob Arnot:  Well, with both my parents, there were a number of chronic diseases that they had.  Both of them actually did have heart disease.  I, as a physician and advocate, of course, was really trying to upgrade their care, which is a tough, tough, tough thing to do. You first and foremost have to be a disruptor because, after all, Mom or Dad is very comfortable being wherever their head is at, being in with their old doctor. With both my parents, I had to push.

For instance, my mother had an aortic valve that had closed down to a very small area, way passed the time she should have had surgery.  Her doctor actually sent her home and said, “I will see you in six months.”  Well, she was not going to come back in six months.  She had a near-death episode and, fortunately, we got her into the hospital, got the right surgeon and a new aortic valve. She survived, but the tough thing about being a caregiver is that it’s not enough to just care an awful lot and do everything humanly possible.  You have to be able to navigate the health care system, which is far from easy...read more

Take Care

Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com

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Carenotes

I am a 58-year-old caregiver for my 81- year-old mother. Neither she nor I have siblings. I have been single almost 30 years and have no children.  My mother has never cared much for company, even as a child. Her last friend died two months ago. Mom has cancer and cannot move her left shoulder or stand on her left leg.  She has always had a “The glass is not only half empty, but it’s dirty, too” kind of personality and she doesn’t care for holidays.  My grandmother and I were very close and always had a blast decorating, but she died when I was in elementary school. I’m feeling tired, empty and lonely. But I’m healthy, so somewhere in the mix I feel guilty. Aside from “work friends,” everyone I know who is still alive has moved out of state.  My job used to be my re-charge, but after restructuring, I now trim plants and ask people to sign in. Any ideas for an emotional B-12 shot?   Mary Answer This Week's CareNote

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