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For
the past five years, I have had the responsibility of my
parents.
The first situation
was having my mom settled in a care home. She had
dementia and was a danger to herself and my dad. It
was a difficult struggle with my dad and my brother to get
them to recognize the need She is doing much better,
but my brother refuses any attempt to keep him involved in
the decisions.
My dad has chosen
to stay in his home. He is 92 now and is fast getting
to the point he needs more help, but won’t allow anyone but
me or my daughter in. He is worried his stuff will be taken;
when we have had outside help, it has been.
My husband was
diagnosed with rectal cancer three years ago and has to wear
a colostomy bag. His personal hygiene is disgusting.
He also shows signs of approaching mental forgetfulness.
One of my children
is close by, but two are in distant parts of the country.
Even though I have been through counseling and have been
going to a caregivers’ group, my anger is so strong, I can
hardly control it at times and I want to stay in bed as much
as I am able. Financially, we are not in a good place,
so I just can’t take off on a holiday if I want to, even if
I could leave my father without support.
How does one
overcome this anger that I am sure others have. I am
now in my 70s. I am not looking forward to living like this
and don't know how to change. I have hobbies which
help; but increasingly, I don't want to see people, either,
as people my age all have problems
O. W.
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