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Wednesday February 6,  2008 - Issue #365

Welcome to the latest edition of the caregiver.com newsletter sponsored by Precision Foods

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From The Editor

Gary Barg - Editor-in-chief

Lament No More

 

In last week's column, A Loved One's Lament, I wrote about a husband and wife I met while speaking at an event in Waco Texas. In their situation, like so many others, the roles one plays when a loved one is ill are often not so easily defined.  Am I her caregiver, or loving spouse?  Am I to be cared for, or be a partner in my own care, as much as possible?  Obviously these are not issues inherent in all care issues, such as caring for a loved one with advanced Alzheimer's disease, but it is a topic which does come up more than you would imagine. 

As usual,  I received positive responses when asking for help in solving this lady's challenges with her overprotective husband.  This, in fact was one of those issues which received a lot of heartfelt and practical solutions.  But, who would have expected any less.

Your responses:

 

I live with and am the primary caregiver for my 90 yr old mother...continue 


I have found it easier to remember my own worth and value as a member of my family, community, stroke support group, etc...continue


Not all people in need of help from a caregiver are completely incapacitated...continue


I sort of understand where he might be coming from...continue 


I would find out what payoff the husband is getting by "keeping his wife depressed...continue 


 Let's keep the conversation going .  Join our Discussion Forum

 

Take care

Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com

 


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Feature Article

Epigenetics: A new Search Begins

By Angela Medieros,  Staff Writer 


Caregivers have watched their loved ones, and the changes in them, wondering if these same characteristics have been passed on to them. ...Continued
 


Additional Article:
 

Finding A Sense of Relief

by Jude Roberts, Staff Writer

Technology and medicine have merged to create the PERS (personal emergency response system)...Continued


 

Caregiver Story

Wrestling with Care

By  David Gillaspie


Caregiving in America is in great demand, from adult foster home owners offering familiar surroundings, to assisted living center staff patrolling hallways to answer assist request buzzers and lights.  .. ...Continued

(Do you have a story? Tell us.)


Caretips

Nip Depression in the Bud:
Warning Signs to Look For

By Mary Damiano
 

While caregivers are defined as the people taking care of those needing help, they sometimes overlook the fact that caregiving responsibilities can take a toll on their own health.  ...Continued


 

Carenotes

How does one go about finding a "geriatric care manager"?.

My Mom is 92 and lives alone one block from my husband and me.  She has limited vision from macular degeneration and she has hearing problems (won't wear hearing aids). She can take care of herself physically and cooks some.

I do everything else: pay her bills, order her meds, shop for or with her, (usually just me), I make her doctor's appointments, pay her bills, withdraw money for her occasional house cleaner, in other words I do everything for her. 

She used to pay me, but decided "you will get everything I have when I die so I don't need to pay you now".  That is true as I am an only child.  I said what if I die before you and her response was, "well you won't need it then".  Mentally she is usually sharp but has moments of ????.  She does not want to have anyone else in the house.  She has no friends and doesn't intend to get any.

I am 70 years old and my husband and I live on social security with a bit more that he earns doing consulting work.  I have rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia, even with those I am usually in pretty good health. 

My husband and I go on a cruise every October for our anniversary and we try to go visit our children who live 450 miles from us a couple of times a year.  One of her favorite things is to tell me how many times we have been away for the year.

If we go out of town I worry about her and I am fortunate to have friends in the neighborhood, she has signals to show them she is up and they call her. Her former doctor told her that she needed to have someone come in 3 times a week.  We had someone for awhile but Mom couldn't understand her and now she won't have anyone else.. 

She sleeps all day and complains she can't sleep at night..........wonder why.  She has a healthy heart and no cancer or anything life threatening. I know she isn't going to change but I could sure use some help.  My friend told me I am "an enabler", but I feel responsible for her.  She has no one else.

S

 

Answer This Week's CareNote:
carenotes/2008/index.htm

 

 


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Inside This Issue:

From the Editor
 Lament No More
Feature Article
Epigenetics
 
Caregiver Story
Wrestling with Care
CareTips
Carenotes


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