I’ve always been a person who
likes to have her ducks in a row. And just like a good
mother duck, I was constantly checking, going back when
I needed to, keeping all my little ducks in line. It was
an exhausting job, really; but at the end of the day, I
slept soundly knowing all was well. On those occasions
when things weren’t well, I would always have a plan on
how to make my line straight again. And I always got my
ducks back in a row.
When I suffered a brain injury, it
was like someone threw a giant boulder into my pond. All
my ducks scattered. Some were tossed high up into the
sky and some were thrown onto dry land. Others were
slammed against the shoreline and others still remain
unaccounted for.
For the first year, I was
frantic—trying desperately to collect all my ducks,
honking and squawking, searching, and grabbing onto any
duck I could find. I couldn’t keep the ones I found
together and some were too far off in the distance to be
reached safely. I hoped they would find their way back
to me on their own and I held onto the three I had.
They were and remain the three
closest to me at all times—Faith, Family and Friend.
Faith is a healthy, loving duck that helps me out when I
am low by moving out in front and taking the lead; and I
am only too glad to follow. The other two, Family and
Friend, are scruffy runts, but never have any trouble
keeping up with Faith.
I’m still in the same pond, hoping
to one day soon be reunited with my lost ones. I know
when I do, they won’t be the same as how they would have
been had I been taking care of them the whole time. Oh,
they probably won’t look as good or be able to stay in
line as well; but still, they’re mine and I’ll be glad
to have them back. A few, I fear, are gone for good, and
it’s sad to think I’ll never see them again. But the
first three, the ones who are always with me, make me
feel truly safe and warm at night. When I look behind
me, my reflection is still murky; but I can see three is
all you really need.
Janice Tindle, 51, was the
passenger sustaining spine and traumatic brain injury
when hit by an underinsured driver in 2010. She is
currently in the process of connecting with
Helphopelive.org to create a fundraiser for her ongoing
rehab treatment. Formerly, Janice was an artist,
vocalist and writer.