There are a number of takes on telling the person
with Alzheimer’s disease (AD) the truth. I would
propose a couple of things to keep in mind:
- Ask yourself how much your loved one will
understand of the explanation. Sometimes they
can understand and retain a lot of the
information (you have a disease of the brain,
etc...); sometimes all they can understand is
that they have "some memory loss;" sometimes
they are unable to get any of it. Remember, the
cognitive impairments of AD affect not only
their ability to comprehend information, but
also their ability to communicate.
- Often someone with Alzheimer’s knows
something is wrong, they just can't figure out
what. Are they stupid or going crazy, they may
wonder. Finding out there is something
wrong that is a legitimate disease beyond their
control can actually be comforting at times in
this light.
- There are some people who will never accept
what you tell them due to denial, resistance,
the disease, etc. Complicating this can be a
host of personality or cultural traits pre-AD.
There are times when telling the person can do
more harm than good. Because of this, you can't
force them to understand if they are unable or
unwilling.
- This is an individual decision; you should
think about the type of person your loved one
is, and how the Alzheimer’s disease has impaired
them. You can always try beginning the
conversation and see how it goes. If they
become very upset and if it doesn’t work, there
is a good chance they will not remember the
conversation.
- Finally, if you are certain your loved one
should know, be ready to repeat yourself
numerous times as they will probably not
remember what you said.
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