The day you discover your child has
cancer, your whole life changes. No matter what the
outcome may be, you are now living on an emotional
roller coaster.
When my son was first diagnosed, he
was scared and angry, and he was embarrassed to lose his
hair. The fact remained that although he was now a
cancer patient, he was still a 14-year-old teenager with
all the typical emotions, feelings and concerns. For me,
becoming a caregiver and being a single mother at the
same time, meant I had to find new skills to cope with
this dreadful disease. I have included some of them
here:
Trust: Choose a doctor, who
is not only qualified, but one who is able to speak
comfortably with you and your child. Make sure she takes
the time to answer your questions and those of your
child.
Communication: Be open and
honest with your child and, as much as possible, include
him in discussions concerning the treatment. Listen with
your heart.
Understanding: Know that your
child may take out most of her anger towards you. After
all, you are the one who will continue to love her no
matter what. Be firm, but loving.
Support: Find a support group
for parents where you can discuss your fears and
concerns. It is very hard for family and friends to
really understand what you are going through. Talk to
the psychologist at the hospital and vent your anger.
Knowledge: You will be asked
to make many decisions during the course of treatment.
Read and learn as much as you can about your child's
type of illness. The more you understand, the better
prepared you will be to cope.
Humor: As hard as it may
seem, keep a good sense of humor. Do fun things with
your child and laugh. Remember he stills wants to be
treated as the person you knew before he became ill.
Friends & Family: Don't
expect them to know how to react or what to say. Be
specific in seeking their support, such as baby-sitting,
carpooling, a cooked meal, etc.
Siblings: Remember their
lives have changed too. They are also scared, and they
may resent the lack of attention. Do spend quality time
with them and listen to their fears.
Chain Lifeline is another
organization that gives support to families with
children who have a life threatening disease. They can
be reached at (305) 956-9990..
Although my son did not survive his
battle with cancer, I hope, through my experience, to
help other parents cope with being a caregiver.
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