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The Dr. Ruth Interview (Page 1 of 4)
An Interview with Dr. Ruth
 Dr. Ruth
Westheimer is world renowned for her
work as a sex therapist, media
personality and author. Best known as
Dr. Ruth, The New York Times described
her as a “Sorbonne-trained psychologist
who became a kind of cultural icon in
the 1980s. She ushered in the new age of
freer, franker talk about sex on radio
and television.” Who better to talk
about the needs of the Alzheimer’s
caregiver than Dr. Ruth in her trademark
forthright and honest manner? Dr. Ruth
sat down with Editor-in-Chief Gary Barg
for a frank discussion about some of
their issues. The wisdom shared by Dr.
Ruth can be applied to all family
caregivers everywhere. As she says, “A
lesson taught with humor is a lesson
retained.”
Gary Barg:
I’m very happy that we get a chance to
talk about your book, Dr. Ruth’s
Guide for Alzheimer’s Caregivers. I knew I
was going to like it when I started
reading and the first chapter is titled,
“How to Help Yourself.” Why do you think
that’s specifically important for
Alzheimer’s caregivers?
Dr. Ruth:
I’ll tell you why – because it’s not
like when somebody has an operation.
There’s a hospital stay, then there’s
recovery, and then people can go on with
their life. That’s not the case here
because this is such a horrible disease.
And it’s such a hopeless disease. So I
decided I know how to do training of
professionals from my years at Planned
Parenthood and I said that’s what I have
to use right now. Just to tell people
that they must – without feeling bad and
without feeling guilty – they must do
something for themselves.
Gary Barg:
There’s a lovely segment in the book.
You talk about scheduling happiness. How
do we do that?
Dr. Ruth:
We decide that there is a moment that we
have to be selfish. You have an
obligation to go out. You have an
obligation to meet some friends, to go
to a movie, to do something. You have to
make arrangements to get some help and
to go to the opera or to go to a
concert. And then not to sit there
guiltily, but to sit there and say,
“This is for my survival. I can give
better care when I have done something
for myself.” That’s really what I’m
talking about—the scheduling of
happiness. When you don’t feel that you
did something that took away from the
care and then you come back, you are
renewed.
Gary Barg:
If you don’t care for yourself, how can
you possibly care for the person who
needs your help?
Dr. Ruth:
Exactly.
Gary Barg:
I know it’s something you don’t normally
talk about, but let’s talk about sex.
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