GB: How
did your parents deal with the
problem?
DR: I had
to put them in diapers. My father
wouldn’t discuss it. I was the only
one he would allow to change his
diapers; otherwise, he would remain
in it and this was impossible, so it
became extremely hard to care for
him. My mother finally put him in a
home against all of my wishes, but
he did better there because they had
a male nurse. These are extreme
measures and I always advise to try
homecare if possible, if you have
the money, if it is a financial
possibility to keep them at home, if
you can convert a room, because they
demand so little, really. Of course,
that’s not true of some
personalities, if dementia is
involved, because there are all
these levels of illnesses.
GB:
Caregivers seem to buzz about you
days after you have spoken at an
event. What do they say to you with
regards to their personal stories?
DR: The
families ask me what to do,
especially about Alzheimer’s disease
because that’s what my father had,
along with the incontinence.
Poor Daddy, he really got it all at
the end. It was a difficult case to
nurse him, because he didn’t want to
be nursed. He was part Cherokee and
he just wanted to be taken out to
the desert. That’s what he kept
telling me. “Look,” he would
say, “just take me out to the
desert, put a blanket over me, and
life will just go.” That’s an
impossibility to do, but he thought
that was the ideal way to go; you
know, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
GB: I’m
honored to spend some time with you.
I think you’re helping a whole lot
of families out there as you go
around sharing your message with
them.
DR: Well,
we try, and sometimes you don’t get
through to people. Not every talk
show wants to discuss this. It’s sad
to me that they don’t want to
recognize this; they want me to just
come on and talk about “Singing in
the Rain” and all the fun things in
my life, which I do; but I try to
work this in, in my own sneaky way.
