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Are You a Type D Personality? Here’s the Antidote

By Debbie Mandel

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Here are some suggestions to lead your life, instead of blindly following wherever it takes you:

Accept responsibility for your life. Either make things work out better where you are, or select a more suitable environment like a nursing home or assisted living for the person in your care. Learn to rid yourself of the victim mentality. If you use the word “stuck” to describe your life, then you have given away your power. Words train our spirit. Loosen your addiction to the word “stuck.” Use words like: “choose,” “free” and “decide.”

Express yourself honestly, but pay careful attention to how others receive your words. Communication is a two-way street. Plan to do a lot of listening and you will learn vital information that can help. 

Balance your needs with the people who inhabit your life. When you know what makes you happy, make those around you happy too. That means compliment them by finding something positive to say to trigger their positive energy. Touch and hug to transmit the loving, healing energy deep within you. Good energy rebounds, settles an agitated heart and promotes improved health.

Can you learn from criticism? Associate with a person or persons who don’t always agree with you. Hear their ideas and suggestions. Avoid being right all the time!

Don’t let your need for emotional security and control run your life. Try to leave your comfort zone and seek out change. Emotional security can serve as a cage.
Don’t let anger fuel your future. Anger and resentment are energy vampires that stunt your growth.

Don’t be the archetypal rescuer who forgets to rescue the self. As per airline instructions, put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then on the person in your charge. Because if you pass out, so will your patient. If you are stressed, the person you love and care for will absorb that stress.

Delegate, delegate, delegate! Ask for help. Community centers, houses of worship, colleges, etc. have volunteers ready, willing and able to help you out. Live in greater balance with a sense of who you are.



Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Changing Habits: The Caregivers’ Total Workout and Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City, produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more, visit:


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