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The Decision

By Trish Hughes Kreis

(Page 4 of 4)

Ultimately, I decided to place him in an Assisted Living Facility near me.  I told Rob (and myself) that this would be on a trial basis and we would see how things went.  I couldnít make a permanent decision so approached it as a temporary solution, which Iíve come to realize, almost a year later, that this was the best possible choice for him.

Dad visits once a month and brings Judy with him which is probably the nicest thing my Dad has ever done in his life. 

Rob is long past his infection and has become quite active in the Care Facility.  He gained a lot of weight because the boy does like to eat.  My visits have dwindled to two to three times a week and I have to time them so as not to interfere with bingo or church (Rob kicks me out if itís bingo time).

I still have pangs of guilt for placing him in the Care Facility but guilt is as much in my blood as denial so Iíve learned to live with it.

I donít know how Mom would have felt to have her son placed in a Care Facility but my dear sister-in-law did say to me recently that Mom would have been happy with the facility I chose for Rob.  She said Mom always knew Rob would need that level of care if he lived long enough.

Those kind words were almost enough to squash the guilt.  Almost. 

Trish Hughes Kreis is a freelance writer and full-time Legal Administrator who coordinates the care of her youngest brother, Robert, and has managed to persistently navigate the maze of social services and government programs available to help her brother.  She can be contacted at or through her blog

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