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by the Editors at Today’s Caregiver Magazine
People -- sometimes friends,
relatives, helpful technicians at the doctor's office,
concerned co-workers-- are always telling us, "reduce
your stress, sweetie, and you'll feel better." Sort of
like "Have a nice day!" After a while, the urge to
strangle the next person who says it becomes more than a
So, we decided to go against the grain, fight the flow,
be plain old oppositional! We aren't going to tell you
how to reduce your stress. For once, we are going to
tell you how to increase the stress in your life. The
following are helpful hints to ensure a heart attack, a
bursting blood vessel, an aggravated ulcer and at the
very least, indigestion.
Caregiver.com’s top 5 suggestions on How to Stay Really,
1. Don't exercise and stay overweight. If you watch what
you eat and exercise, you are sure to feel more
energetic, your endorphins will be all over the place,
and you might start to think clearly. Then you'll get
things accomplished, feel better and, ugh...relax.
Forget it, stay tired.
2. Avoid fun and get rid of your sense of humor. Doctors
have proven that laughter and enjoyment are good for you
and your heart. You can't be properly stressed if you
are enjoying your life. It just doesn't work that way.
3. Eliminate your support systems and never ever ask for
help. The best way to stay stressed is to make sure no
one else can do anything for you or your loved one. You
have to be responsible for everything and everyone. How
else can you make it all your fault when schedules crash
or things don't go well?
4. Avoid hugs and comfort whenever possible. Those same
meddling doctors who keep telling us to laugh more, also
found out that there is some kind of measurable healing
power in soothing, comforting physical contact like when
you are hugged. If you let anyone hug you, practically
all that great stress you've been building up all day
goes right out the window. Your heart beats more evenly,
your blood pressure comes down, you probably even forget
to yell at the next person you see. Hugs are just the
worst thing you could do if you are trying to stay in an
5. Eliminate all time management practices.
Procrastinate! Procrastinate! Procrastinate! Poor time
management helps to increase your sense of being
overwhelmed and out of control. Trying to do everything
at once, with no plan in sight is the perfect way to get
nothing done. That way you can continue to blame
yourself for everything that went wrong and of course,
your stress level will go through the ceiling.
Follow our advice, and you will be able to take an
expensive vacation where you will be waited on hand and
foot and your health will be monitored regularly. Of
course, you'll be in the hospital, but then you can
start stressing over the bills as soon as you get home.