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By Kristine Dwyer, Staff Writer
Phase Five: “Acceptance”:
realization that life is different, “I am
different,” “you are different,”relearning takes
place, negativity is replaced by gratitude
Phase Six: “Finding a New
Normal”: aiming for stability and lifestyle balance,
prioritizing life issues, working together to set
new goals
Understanding these phases and utilizing
counseling support services through the military or
local programs will be a key to a positive
adjustment for the veteran and the entire family
system.
The need for family support during times of
deployment and upon the return of service members
has always existed. Family Readiness Groups (FRGs)
and support groups are available through each branch
of the Armed Forces to provide social and emotional
support, outreach services, and information prior
to, during, and in the aftermath of military
separations. The camaraderie and strength that
develops between military families that face
uncertain times together is priceless.
Military family retreats, provided through many
military branches, are another example of support
for families and caregivers. They provide combat
veterans and their families with the education,
training and skills needed to manage their lives
after serving in a war. The retreats are often held
in a rural, private area, are staffed by trained
volunteers and counselors, and are usually free.
Youth and children’s activities are provided along
with educational and support sessions for veterans
and their spouses. These topics may include: self
care, relaxation techniques, stress reduction, sleep
solutions, problem-solving skills, money management,
intimacy issues, communication, VA services and
more.
Positive results have come from these retreats as
families have attested: “This experience has pulled
our family from the brink of destruction,” “The
retreat gave our family a boost of self-worth,” and
“Everybody faces challenges with the aftermath of
war. It is good to know, see and feel that it is
normal.”
Taking Care of the Caregiver:
Family members may face the prospect of starting
a new chapter in their own lives if their loved one
returns from military service with an injury or
disability. Many have had to put life on hold, leave
jobs or change residences to care for a spouse,
adult child or significant other. Caregiving can be
overwhelming as one tries to meet all of the
emotional, physical and medical needs of a veteran.
Mourning the loss of a “normal” life and
relationship prior to the war may also occur. At
this point, it’s important for caregivers to accept
that things have changed and to surround themselves
with their own spiritual, emotional and physical
resources.
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