By Lisa Bailey
14. Give.
While I have learned through Phil’s illness to
receive the gifts of help, encouragement, prayer and
love from other people, Phil and I continue to enjoy
giving as part of our marriage. We enjoy praying for
other people, talking to other patients in the
waiting rooms, encouraging others as much as
possible through conversations both in person, in
email and through good, old-fashioned snail mail.
Giving keeps us feeling emotionally and spiritually
full and is always worth the effort.
15. Take good care of
yourself. Eat good food, exercise a
little, rest well and learn to say no to outside
demands. See your doctor and dentist for
checkups. Get away from the house now and then—even
if it is just to the laundromat to do the bulky
wash.
16. Release yourself from
expectations for perfection. As humans, we
all experience finitude, our “feet of clay” when we
do not have infinite energy, wisdom or capabilities
to manage our lives. This is normal. Get through
each day as best you can, and don’t dwell on
mistakes.
Today Phil is doing well, fighting the cancer
with chemotherapy, prayer and a great sense of
humor. I am blessed to be his partner in this fight.
As long as I keep my balance, I feel I do a good job
as a loving caregiver. I hope these strategies work
to help you both in your caregiving work and in
reducing the stress that comes from this part of
life’s journey.
Lisa Bailey is the caregiver
for her 55-year-old husband Phil, whose colorectal
cancer has metastasized to his lungs. They
have been married for 31 years, and are parents to
four adult children ages 18 to 34, and have eight
grandchildren. She is a kindergarten teacher
who works full-time, as she provides the medical
insurance for her family.
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