Share This Article

Fearless Caregiving Abroad

Dad’s Alzheimer’s has affected the healing time and Steve has fearlessly adapted to it. “Dad’s Alzheimer’s has created a situation where he can’t remember that she passed away.  Many times each day he begins looking for her.” Steve’s creative solution was to print a few pages from Mom’s traditional Jewish burial at Mumbai’s active synagogue.  This method allows Dad to experience the reality of the event and be comforted that their wishes for a traditional funeral were met. 

Since Dad wanted to be buried next to his beloved, arrangements were made for the future.  “He jokes that he’s among the elite in India who own real estate in Mumbai.”

These days, the pace has slowed.  The cook and the night help have stayed on, and the massage therapist who helped Mom so much has become Dad’s full-time assistant.

Dad may no longer travel due to ailments other than the Alzheimer’s, but he reads the paper between visits with those who drop in.  There is cable TV to keep him oriented to the world outside of Pondicherry.

A part-time job with a friend’s company allows Steve to work at home.  He does notice a decline in Dad’s energy levels, which is not uncommon when a spouse passes.  However, Dad is 93.  In these elder years, which might have been spent in a nursing home in the States, he has a better quality of life in India.

While Steve mentions that the current situation is “lonely but manageable,” he does so with the mentality of a fearless caregiver.  No situation is perfect every minute of every day.  He credits caregiver mentor Gary Barg and his own continued work with Transcendental Meditation as two guiding forces in maintaining his stability.  What Steve modestly does not mention is that Gary and Transcendental Meditation have only brought out in him the qualities of every fearless caregiver.   They are the ability to welcome the current reality with peace from within; changing only what can be changed.

Printable Version