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Caregiving Issues Facing
the Multi-Generational Family
By Helen Hunter, ACSW, CMSW
Those who are in the “sandwich
generation” often are faced with the daily demands of
care needed by their parents or older relatives AND are
responsible for the raising of their own children. In
addition, they may have to deal with their own health
and financial worries. Other responsibilities faced by
this generation include the demands of a work schedule
and their relationship with a spouse or significant
other, in addition to their ongoing relationship with
siblings and close friends.
Regardless of their age, there are many instances where
the main caregiver in the family refuses to acknowledge
that they can’t handle the load. They are too caught up
in the daily grind that they don’t recognize the warning
signals, which can include extreme fatigue, lack of
rest, irritability, and frustration over lack of free
time. Letting others know your feelings and that you
need help is crucial to the caregiver’s mental and
physical well-being.
It is also important to negotiate the exact roles of
each family member in terms of providing care. Some may
feel more comfortable with hands-on duties – others may
want to only focus on household chores or helping with
transportation or financial and legal issues.
There are many instances where the care receiver is very
stubborn and resistant to any help, even from family
members. In these cases you need to be FIRM in
expressing the reality of the situation and that the
person needs assistance. It is particularly important
for those living in multi-generational households who
often are providing 24 hours a day/7 days a week care to
have an occasional respite break.
With family members living longer, many individuals are
faced with the prospect of being a caregiver for a
significant number of years. More and more families are
opting to live in a mutli-generational household for a
variety of reasons, including providing care for a loved
one. It is important for the family to recognize that,
in many cases, they will not be able to tend to all the
needs of their relative, and that they will have to rely
on others for occasional support. The support is
available – just ask.
Helen Hunter, ACSW, CMSW, is an
independent geriatric social worker consultant and
trainer. She is also a writer and has had numerous
articles published focusing on elder care and family
care issues. Licensed in Connecticut, New York and
Florida, she currently resides in Fort Myers.
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