Name: Jane
Location: Michigan
Date: 11/19/2008
Time: 06:49 AM

Comments

It's hard to accept the changes that occur in an aging parent. Your brother needs to tell himself that mom is a different person now with new feelings and issues whether he likes it or not or accepts that or not. It is what it is. What helps is to talk slowly and calmly, do not give a lot of information that she needs to comprehend, absorb and remember. Definitely do not take anything personally that your mother says.

Name: Dani
Location: Alaska
Date: 11/19/2008
Time: 11:11 AM

Comments

I would ask your brother not to visit anymore and tell him the reason. It is my opinion that your mother's feelings are more important than his. If he comes to visit and ends up making her cry for hours because he has hurt HER feelings, then he needs to not visit anymore. If he gets a chance to step back and look at his behavior, he may understand that what he does is not acceptable and he might change. In the meantime, your mother does not need the stress.

Name:
Location:
Date: 11/19/2008
Time: 02:07 PM

Comments

I would definitely TELL my brother NOT to visit any more. He may be dealing with his own feelings of guilt remorse or whatever but like someone already said, at this point your mom's welfare and well being are the most important. Take a hard stance on this. I've dealt with something similar. I didn't get "ugly" but I had to let a relative know that I would not allow him to come into my home and confront our 90 year old Mom with his "bad spirit" and anger over some 50 year old issue. He got over it. We have to protect our elderly loved ones as much as we can which means taking some folk to task when needed. They need to know that someone has their back and will protect them at all cost.